Index

  1. Foreword, by Mr. Harlan T. Fescue
  2. Introductory materials
  3. Have I told you that most of you are the right height?
  4. Have I told you that some of you could be in sport?
  5. Have I told you that $374,000 is not very much money?
  6. Have I told you that Ann drives a couple of cadillacs?
  7. Have I told you that I made it on my own?
  8. Have I told you that I illustrated this book myself?
  9. Have I told you that “Mitt” is my real first name?
  10. Have I told you that corporations are people, my friend?
  11. Have I told you that you can retroactively retire from your company if you need to?
  12. Have I told you what is in my tax returns?
  13. Have I told you that you should probably shave people’s heads for them if you don’t like their haircut?
  14. Have I told you that I am not a conservative?
  15. Have I told you that I am severely conservative?
  16. Have I told you that I am a conservative person, but not severely so, and just the right amount of conservative to make you happy?
  17. Have I told you that what you are doing probably is disconcerting to me?
  18. Have I told you that people who are poorer than we are have bad cultures?
  19. Have I told you that I did not say what people are saying I just said?
  20. Have I told you that I’m not concerned about the very poor?
  21. Have I told you that Ann and I were once very poor?
  22. Have I told you how much fun it is to fire people who provide services to you?
  23. Have I told you that I longed in many respects to actually be in Vietnam and be representing our country there?
  24. Have I told you that I’m running for president, for Pete’s sake?
  25. Conclusion
  26. Epilogue
  27. Afterword, by Clint “Clint” Eastwood

One Response to Index

  1. Eloise says:

    Haha. Did you write this as a parody of Barack’s book? That’s awesome. 😀

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